i wish i had friends i could just call up at like 2am and be like “lets chill or go for a walk” and they would do it
Okay so I’m in therapy because I was sexually abused as a child, I’m a drug addict and a rape victim. My mom passed away 15 months ago and we used together. So when I decided to quit subs, which I’m 2 months off of now, I went back to my therapist. She wants me to blog about “the middle ground”. So, my middle ground doesn’t exist. I don’t have one. Sometimes no limits.. I used to but I’ll get into that later. I’m either all in or all out, one extreme or the other. I realized how I used to be a scared little virgin and now I’m fearless and have no self worth so I fuck whoever. It makes me feel worthless and a lot of times I disassociate while having sex because of my rape. I just feel ugly and fat and having sex just makes me feel worse about it. I torture myself. I can’t be completely sober either and sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be okay with no drugs.. that’s the extreme I take.